vocaroo:

are you medusa cuz ur makin me rock hard

audreysaysstopit:

if i can’t get it done in 10 seconds, i don’t wanna do it

dielikeyoureliving:

calling someone at 11:12 and saying 

“just calling to make your wish come true”

adult-parody:

Hearing little kids screaming outside and not being able tell if they’re just playing or being brutally murdered.

ri-sen:

ri-sen

i swear kangaroos are like deer’s weird australian cousins who jump around a lot and carry babies in their skin flaps

ughluke:

a list of my favourite people:

• me
• me
• me
• me
• me
• me
• not you
• me

scruffylittlenerfherder:

“you make me melt”, the girl tells the boy working behind the counter at the local Subway. “hold the tomato.” she is ordering a sandwich.

wumbophilia:

am i the only one that feels really self conscious about posting anything on facebook

poopflow:

glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts